Bring your parents to school
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: Basically what the title says. Just a collection of one-shots (potentially), nothing fancy :)
1. Chapter 1

**I've got major writer's block at the moment and it doesn't help that I'm **_**really**_** frustrated with my stupid 'brother'. He thinks he's so amazing and perfect and 'deserves a break', but he is the world's biggest selfish jerk and I just want to rip his head off. It's just so frustrating that he's making it out to be that **_**I'm**_** the mean one who's constantly rude and arrogant and such a bully. **

**Anyway, forget that rubbish prat. This isn't a major update or anything that important. It's an old one-shot and I thought I might as well type it up so you guys get something.**

**And I keep forgetting- I've got a poll up for Bubba Mava's name so go and vote if you haven't already! :D**

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><p>Those who had never met Charlie's parents before- the majority of the school- could easily tell who his father was, but had a hard time finding his mother.<p>

"Where is Mom?" Charlie asked, extracting himself from a questioning crowd of fellow students. Leo just shrugged, looking highly amused.

"Probably killing someone."

"She's only been here five minutes!" His father gave a crooked smile and Charlie worried who would be under his mother's wrath this time.

"Charlie, is she your mom?"

"No, that's Sasha's mom." He took pity on the group, wanting to be rid of them for five seconds of free breathing space. He was beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic. "OK, clue." They brightened interestedly. "She has the same eyes as me." For some reason, it had turned into a popular game to find out who Charlie's mother was.

"That narrows it down." Fiona grumbled sarcastically.

"It does, actually." Leo added. "It's a very unique eye-colour." _One only descendants of Poseidon get. _

Charlie's friends scrambled away, swarming through the swell of parents and students.

"Why are people callin' me?" Charlie turned and looked up, smiling at an equally sea-green pair of eyes. "'Who's Charlie's mom?'" She mimicked, repeating it several times in an array of silly voices. "It's a miracle any of these kids are still alive."

"You didn't say anything, did you?" Leo asked. Louisa shook her head and they both grinned identical impish grins.

"I knew you two were up ta somethin'."

"_You're_ Charlie's mom?" Fiona was back and staring at Louisa in amazement. Her eyes flitted from Louisa's to Charlie's and back again. "You are!" She squealed. Louisa winced and covered her ears. This girl was speaking on a level only dogs should hear. "I found Charlie's mom!"

"_Why_ is this such a big deal?" Louisa quizzed, fixing a steely look on her son. Charlie smiled innocently while Leo shrugged noncommittally, wearing a similar smile. Louisa folded her arms and glowered at the pair of them. Leo cracked first.

"You're clearly amazing and I'm…" He looked down at himself, "a scrawny bugger."

"Ya ain't scrawny."

"Not as scrawny as I was." Louisa rolled her eyes, having had this conversation thousands of times with him over the years. "Keep doing that and you might find a brain back there." She glared at him again, torn between smiling and strangling him.

But Leo had a point. She was a daughter of Poseidon- not that the mortals knew that- a child of one of the Big Three gods. She was definitely going to exude some sort of power as well as that natural beauty she often denied and did nothing to exaggerate- she wore her usual tracksuit bottoms, a T-shirt of Leo's and his army jacket. Judging by the looks on some of the other parents' faces, they were trying to figure out how Leo- this elfish handyman- had married this fiery, violent and clearly deranged-in-a-good-way woman. To them, she seemed unattainable.

Leo didn't mind them getting confused with this. He found it rather amusing and felt very proud of himself to win Louisa over when no-one else could. He did get a bit irritated when some of the single dads stared, but she soon sent them scurrying with one of her murderous glares.

He also noticed she kept pulling the sleeves of his jacket over her hands and smelling the material. Apparently, he smelled like wood smoke, under all the machine oil, and she liked that.

Charlie was somewhat oblivious to his parents, running around like crazy with some of his friends or away from Sage who, unsurprisingly, was trying to kill him.

Louisa glanced up at Charlie's laughter, shedding Leo's jacket and dropping it on her son's head as he passed.

Suddenly blinded, Charlie skidded to a halt. He recognised the wood smoke scent of his father's beloved jacket. Turning it around, he slipped his arms into the sleeves, noticing his hands barely came to the elbows, the rest of the material hanging limply. The jacket itself finished just above his knees. Someone cracked a few short quips, but Charlie paid no attention, staring bemusedly at his mother.

She gave a sweet smile and Charlie knew he was in trouble. He tried to run for it, but she grabbed the swinging sleeves and knotted them behind his back.

"_Mamaaaa_!" He protested, struggling against the new imprisonments, hopping around so he didn't fall over. People were starting to laugh. Leo stood to the side, laughing with them and not even bothering to help. "You're all _mean_!"

Leo relented after a couple of minutes, moving forward and deftly untying the knot. Charlie stepped out of the jacket and Leo returned it to his wife, who had come over to hit him for freeing their son.

"You OK?" He smiled, not retaliating to Louisa's one-sided dead-arm contest.

"I think my shoulder clicked." Leo chuckled. "Maybe it's dislocated." Louisa stopped hitting Leo and ruffled Charlie's hair.

"Keep tryin', Curls. Ya ain't gettin' sympathy from us, _right, Leo_?"

"Oh, definitely. No sympathy from _both _of us." Louisa gave a content nod and turned away. Leo winked reassuringly at Charlie, retrieving a wrapped slice of chocolate cake from his tool belt. "You didn't get that from me."

"Get what?"

"Exactly."

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><p><strong>Might post a few more of these. Don't know. Sorry if it's lousy, but I really can't think of ideas : And don't forget to vote! :P **


	2. Chapter 2

"And why are you here?" Percy sighed, trying to hide his amusement at his eldest son's peculiarity. "And why are they here too? Did you bring them?" Apparently, all the older Jackson children, they're partners and Elsie and Alokia were here.

"Yes, of course I did." Tobias smiled proudly. "And I have every reason to be here." He pointed at the Little Twins. "We're here for Finn and Darcy, one parent each. You're here for Sage, Mom's here for Theo, Max is here for Lilly, Ava is here for Phoenix, Alvie is here for Callum, Crystal is here for Damian and Elsie and Alokia are here for decoration."

"Hey!" Elsie protested. Alokia didn't say anything, torn between smiling and frowning her own protest as to not get her sister on her case.

"You are! Charlie has both parents here and you two haven't _really_ got to be here."

"But we are, so shush or I'll hurt you." Percy chuckled.

"Every bit her mother, that one."

"Damn right!" Louisa called from where she was sat at the table with Leo. She and her husband were wrestling with Charlie, trying to keep him from chocolate cake- he was far too hyper already- while Phoenix teased him by holding his beloved food _just_ out of his reach.

"Phoenix!" Ava scolded good-naturedly, confiscating the cake.

"So, we're all here!" Tobias concluded happily. Percy just rolled his eyes, playfully shoving his son away.

"Go and annoy someone else." He laughed.

"OK! _Sophia_!" He bounced off. Percy shook his head, smiling and turning back to Sage.

"He's a loon, that brother of yours."

"He _does_ take after you, Dad." Sage pointed out with a slight smirk.

"Aren't you funny?"

"Side-splittingly hilarious!" Tyler confirmed, appearing out of nowhere. "It's so weird seeing all these parents here." He peered around at everyone. "Have you talked to any of them?" He asked both Sage and her father.

"Some."

"No." Sage replied at the same time.

"Don't talk to Jenny's dad unless you plan on standing there for half an hour listening to something about sleeves." Both of them pulled identical faces of pity and distress. "Or Kylam's mum. She goes on and on about bees."

"Anyone interesting worth talking to?"

"Just your parents so far. And Leo and Lou." He paused. "And pretty much the rest of your family."

"We _are_ an interesting bunch." Percy agreed, smiling. He messed Sage's hair and then left them to talk to and buy lunch for his wife.

Irritably, Sage smoothed her hair back into its ponytail, grumbling about the idiots in her family.

"They're nice idiots though." Tyler pointed out. Sage made a face of reluctant agreement.

"Who'd you come with then?"

"Mom."

"Your dad?" Tyler pulled his own face. "Oh. When did you last talk to him?"

"Last night, but he won't come over."

"They're definitely going through with it then?" He sighed, his eyes dulling as he nodded dejectedly. His parents were divorcing. There was too much ill feeling between them now to try and recover. "Whatever the weather, Tyler, you'll always have me, OK?"

"OK. Thanks, Sage." She slugged him playfully on the arm, her way of showing affection.

"I know who'll cheer you up in no time." She grabbed his arm and hauled him away, straight over to her eldest brother.

"Oh no! What's wrong with my Ty-Ty?" Tobias grabbed Tyler in a bone-crushing hug, ever the big brother. Sophia pursed her lips, but said nothing, having learnt and mastered not to interrupt particular ADHD moments, such as now.

"Don't call me that!" But Sage had been right. Tobias did cheer him up in no time.

"What's wrong? Does someone need beating up? _Max_!"

"No, no, no, someone doesn't need beating up, it's OK." Tyler hastily corrected, looking desperately at Sage. She was no help, killing herself laughing.

"Go away, Max, you're not needed after all."

"Gee, thanks!"

"Anytime!" Tobias beamed. Sophia and Darcy gave automatic, simultaneous eye rolls. "Hey, where did Sam go?"

"She's getting food." Finn gave a devilish smile. "With Vicky."

"Who's Vicky?" Tyler asked, baffled.

"Sophia's nut job friend." Sage clarified. "You'll like her. She's almost as eccentric as Tobias. _Almost_." She stressed, seeing her brother's disapproving frown. _No-one_ was as eccentric as him.

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><p>Sage and Tyler eventually had to go to lessons. Percy and August were with them.<p>

August was a proper role model, making sure Tyler paid attention and did the work. Percy wasn't so much- he kept trying to play hangman and noughts and crosses with his daughter.

"It's blue, now shush. Trying to concentrate." She pushed his hangman sheet back to him, frowning at the question on the board.

"But I'm _bored_."

"You _child_, Dad." He kicked her lightly under the table. "Doodle or something."

"Don't want to." She sighed. He was in a Tobias-mood. Yay for her.

Tyler slipped her a note under the table; _Want to swap?_ He was watching her from the corner of his eye, relieved when she nodded.

They quickly swapped seats while the teacher wasn't looking. Tyler instantly took up a game of hangman with Percy, despite his mother's disapproving _tut_'s. Percy didn't seem to mind Sage moving- he wasn't so bored now.

"What are you doing?" Their teacher called, five minutes after they had switched.

"Hangman." Percy replied evenly. "No, it's not 'catastrophe'. I can't spell 'catastrophe'."

"Dammit." Tyler muttered.

"Mr. Jackson."

"Oh, just call me Percy. Mr. Jackson makes me feel old."

"You _are _old." Sage grinned cheekily. Percy looked up at her, keeping his head bowed. There was that gleam in his eyes, the one that told her he knew something about her that she wouldn't want everyone else knowing.

Sage promptly ignored him, turning back in her seat.

"Percy then." The teacher sighed. "You're distracting Tyler." She tried.

"I'm actually helping to improve his vocabulary."

"When you can't spell 'catastrophe'?" She stared at Percy disbelievingly.

"I'm dyslexic. I'm spelling most of these words right."

"You spelt 'fridge' wrong." Tyler pointed out. "It's 'd' and then 'g', not the other way round." Percy scribbled out something on the bit of paper and then corrected his spelling.

"Great improvement." The teacher muttered sarcastically.

"It could be refrigerator." Percy argued lightly. "That's not a word!" He told Tyler.

"Is to."

"Is not."

"Mary Poppins had it in her song."

"Doesn't mean it's a word. Wait, did you spell that right?"

"Tyler's sad enough to remember how to spell 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'." Sage cut across.

"You're only saying it's sad because it's something you don't know." Tyler shot back, grinning triumphantly.

"I want to go for a walk." Percy declared randomly, looking out the window.

"Yes, go." The teacher seemed more than relieved to be shot of him. She didn't mind Sage's father- he was a nice man- but his ADHD was stopping her from teaching.

Tyler sank back into boredom once Percy left. Sage refused to join in for any of the paper games, as did his mother. His teacher was nice, but her lessons were boring.

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><p>The triplets were quite surprised to see their father out and about halfway through lesson.<p>

They were out in the sunshine on the basketball court. Theo and Callum were pretty much everywhere while Lilly hung nervously to the side-lines, looking frightened at the mere thought of joining in with all these people. Her two brothers were like a team on their own, them against seven others. The rest of their team- all girls- was just standing there, chatting away and screaming whenever the ball got within three metres of them.

"Hey, Lilly." Percy smiled. "Why aren't you joining in?"

"I can't catch. Or throw. Or play basketball."

"I've tried to get her to join in already, Percy." Annabeth handed her daughter a water bottle, sipping from her own. She had clearly been running about to with some of the other parents willing to play basketball. "She can be very stubborn when she wants to be."

"How about me versus you, one on one?" He offered, smiling cheekily at his wife. "Lilly can judge."

"Dinner's on you if I win."

"Blue cookies if I win." They nodded at each other, deal made. Lilly was relieved to not have to join in.

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><p><strong>Somebody did ask for a Percabeth kids one, so here you go. Hope it's OK! :D <strong>

**I've also got a new fic up, in case you haven't seen it yet. It's a HTTYD one! :D The first chapter might be a bit :/ but I worked more on the second chapter, so I think it's better! :P **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for not updating last night. I was reading and watching Friends.**

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><p>"Ugh… whose writin' is this? I wanna slap 'em."<p>

"No slapping _anyone_." Leo reprimanded good-naturedly. Louisa paid him no attention, squinting irritably at the hand-written recipe before them. Leo could read it alright, but the cursive must have been killer for her.

"Can I have some now?"

"Charlie, it's just sugar and butter!" Leo playfully smacked his son's hand away. Charlie stared at him, switching on the puppy-dog look. "_No_." Leo pointed at him with the wooden spoon. "No cake mix until they're in the oven."

"But there won't be any left!" Charlie complained.

"Charlie, shush, I'm tryin' ta read." Louisa frowned at the writing, not noticing that her son sulked.

Max's laughter reached them, shortly followed by Ava's irate, "_Max_!"

"It's a good look for you." He smiled as she wiped flour from her face and shot him a look Louisa would have been proud of had she not been so confused with the writing.

Snatching up the wooden spoon, Ava jabbed angrily at Max. He ducked around her, not looking so cheeky all of a sudden. She spluttered a series of incomplete sentences and chased him from the room, brandishing the spoon. All Louisa heard was "I'm going to _kill_ you!" and "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

Charlie looked over at Phoenix, who was scanning her counter hastily.

"Ava!" She protested. "I needed that!" She ran after her flour-coated sister, leaving a bowl of cake mix unattended.

Charlie stole his father's spoon and rushed to mix Phoenix's cake mix properly. Leo didn't even bother trying to stop him, more focused on stopping his wife from strangling the teacher for her accursed neat, swirly writing.

When Phoenix did return with her wooden spoon and considerably cleaner sister, she saw that Charlie had steadily eaten his way through most of her cake mix.

_What was it with these two girls and wooden spoons? _

"That took me _ages_!"

"And you shouldn't eat raw eggs anyway." Ava pointed out, dusting the flour from her arms and looking proud of her little sister as she lobbed the kitchen utensil at the elfin boy.

With a startled yell, Charlie ducked quickly, but in doing so, sent the ceramic mixing bowl and the last of its contents smashing to the floor.

"Oh no…" Phoenix fumed at him. "_Maaaaaam_…" He called, not daring to take his eyes from his soon-to-be murderer.

"Mm?" Louisa hummed casually, carefully scooping cake mix in the tins.

"Uh, I think he needs help." Leo laughed softly. Neither of them moved to help Charlie.

Phoenix lunged. Charlie dived from the counter top- where he had been sitting- around the mess he had made and through the kitchen, somehow surviving passing her and her sister.

He was so close to the door, to freedom, when Max returned. They collided and landed on a heap on the floor.

"Girl trouble?" Max asked, giving a lopsided smirk. Charlie whimpered and nodded. "Boys' toilets." He hissed, giving a helpful grin. Charlie murmured his thanks, scrambling to his feet and making a run for it.

Max waited for Phoenix to get close before sitting up and grabbing hold of her.

"No! Let me go!"

"Oops, wrong one." He slowly and pointedly let her go, looking up at Ava as though he had meant to catch her instead of her sister, but they all knew that wasn't the case.

"I can't focus with all this racket!" Louisa despaired, knocking a box of eggs to the floor in her frustration.

"We needed those."

"Take those ones."

"I don't want those ones though."

"Tough."

"I'll get upset."

"Diddums."

"I take it you're not going to clean that up?"

"In a minute." She reached for their bowl, having to lean past him to get it. Leo caught her in his arms and held her, trapped. She elbowed him sharply in the stomach and he staggered back from the force of it, slipping on the cracked eggs.

Thankfully, he managed to grab the counter behind him before he fell entirely.

Louisa stared at him, her expression unreadable. Leo stared back at her, trying his best to mimic her mostly blank look.

"My life just flashed by." He eventually said, hoping he sounded wounded enough to a single dredge of sympathy from her.

Of course, that didn't happen. She rolled her eyes instead, helping him stand up properly. But she must have felt _some_ sympathy, as she set about cleaning up her mess. And then Charlie's cake mix mess too, in case someone- Leo- slipped on that.

Leo grinned at her cheekily. "You _do_ care." She shot him a brief look, so brief he could have missed it, but he didn't. It was a very quick 'duh' look. "Knew it!" He laughed victoriously. She hit his arm and told him to shush before he wound up in the bin.

Charlie ran back in then, slamming the door behind him and flicking the lock across. A thud on the other side and muffled shouts announced Phoenix's arrival.

"Damn you, Charlie, _damn you_!"

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><p><strong>Sorry it's not much, but I'm trying to get over my renewed-with-a-vengeance-writer's block :**


	4. Chapter 4

**To NoOne- I do have plans to write a story for Elsie and Alokia, but nothing concrete to work with at the moment. When I get proper ideas, I will, so don't worry. Every Jackson and Valdez child will have their own story :D **

**To Guest- Just to double check, you want Nico and Joy to go to Crystal's school on a Bring Your Parents To School day thing? :P **

**And to all of you- I put in a spoiler and NO ONE spotted it. Although, it was a very, **_**very**_** discreet spoiler, so I'll give you a bit of a clue- it was mentioned in Tobias and Percy's talk right at the beginning of chapter two on this story.**

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><p>"Paint something paint something paint something…" Charlie chanted over and over, looking at his mother pointedly. He had an art lesson, but his mother stubbornly refused to express her artistic skills for reasons unbeknownst to him. "<em>Pleeeasssee<em>?!" He begged.

"Just one drawing." Leo added, quite happy drawing a series of stick men kung-fu fighting with ninja bandanas. "I can't draw for toffee and look!" He held his picture up proudly.

"Very nice." Louisa's sarcasm was plausible, but Leo didn't give it a second thought, adding a jumble of stick animals to the mayhem on his paper.

"Why won't you paint anything?" Charlie whined.

"I don't feel like paintin'." She shrugged.

"Draw then!" He rushed paper and pencil towards. Her eyes flicked to the equipment and then to her son, unimpressed. "_Mom_. Do as you're told!"

"No."

"Naughty corner then."

"Screw that." Leo snickered as Charlie despaired.

"Dad, tell her!"

"There's no point forcing her." Leo advised, drawing a few curly moustaches on some of his characters, even a dog. "Just leave that," He nodded at the pencil and paper, "there and let her draw in her own time."

"But I want the others to see how good she is at drawing and she won't draw!" Charlie, defeated and sulking, sat on the floor. This gained him some very curious looks from his classmates- confused looks, but highly amused ones as well.

"Get up."

"No." Louisa bounced an eraser off his head.

"_Up_." Charlie swivelled and turned his back on her, folding his arms with a sulky 'humph'. "Your son." She grumbled, rising from the uncomfortable plastic stools and grabbing Charlie by the elbows.

"_Your_ son." Leo corrected, setting his pencil down and finding his feet to help.

"No!" Charlie protested, squirming and trying to break free, but his parents successfully caught him in their hold. Louisa grabbed a water pot- full of dirty paint water- and held it above Charlie's head. "No no no, not that!"

"Gonna behave?"

"No! Yes! I don't know!" He managed to free his arms and put them over his head just as the first few drops of water fell. "_Maaaammmm_!"

"Behave!"

"Draw!"

"Not until you behave!"

"Not until you draw!"

"Children, children!" Leo confiscated the water pot, caught Charlie in an underarm headlock and grabbed his wife's wrist. "Lou, go and draw over there somewhere." He waved at the over end of the classroom. "Charlie, sit in that corner," He pointed to the opposite side of the room, "and _behave_."

"But-" Charlie started, trying to wiggle free from his father's hold. Leo let Louisa go. She glowered at him, but did go over to the aforementioned corner. When she was there, Leo let Charlie go.

"Is… um, is everything OK?" The teacher asked hesitantly.

"Oh, we're fine. This is normal."

"We're not normal!" Louisa called. Leo thought for a second.

"Then it's abnormally normal." She gave a content nod and turned back to examining the clay sculptures. "Charlie?"

"_Nooooo…" _Charlie fell backwards onto the floor and placed his hands over his face. "Sulking…"

"I know that, but I might call an og-day ile-pay." Leo smirked as his son peeked through his fingers at him, clearly trying to figure out what his father was on about this time.

"Oh no, don't do that!"

"Get up then." Charlie scrambled to his feet and dusted himself down. "Good. Now, shoo." Leo waved him away, smiling.

The art teacher looked from one Valdez to the other.

"Are you good? Can I carry on?"

"Yeah. Sorry." Leo grinned. "We're a crazy bunch."

"I've noticed."


	5. Chapter 5

**To Guest- Thank you! I've never had a fanfic described like that, so THANK YOU! :D I guess Joy and Nico would be quite funny, depending on how I write it. I'll see what I can do, just make sure I don't forget :P**

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><p>"Hey, no killing anyone." Louisa stared at him incredulously. "And don't give me that look; you know you're being a pain." She took that as her cue to make <em>him<em> hurt, punching him repeatedly. Not full-pelt punches, but enough to leave a few marks and to make her point. "No!" Leo protested, raising his arms to try and deflect her attacks. He took a few steps back, but tripped.

Arms flailing, he managed to grab Louisa's wrist before toppling backwards, dragging her with him. They landed in a heap with simultaneous 'oof's. "Ooowww…" Leo complained groggily.

"That was ya fault." She grumbled, pushing her hair from her eyes. Leo frowned up at her in a childish sulk.

"Was not."

"Was too!"

"You attacked me! It was your fault." She fixed a murderous glare on him. Leo did his best not to back down. "Your fault." He repeated stubbornly.

"_You_ tripped."

"I wouldn't have if you hadn't distracted me."

"I didn't."

"You're very distracting."

"No I ain't." Leo huffed, unimpressed. She smacked him in the chest, startling him. "_Ain't_." She growled, shifting and rising to her feet.

"Are." Leo muttered, sitting up. She held her hand out to him and he took it, a spark flitting up his arm and tingling down his spine as she hauled him to his feet. Leo stubbornly kept hold of her hand, entwining their fingers. She didn't protest, giving him a small smile.

"I look away for two seconds and you two are on the floor." Percy grinned. "Honestly- _get a room_." Louisa booted him in the shin and sent him hopping and cursing away.

"I wanted to do that." Leo mumbled, miffed. She looked at him questioningly. "Kick him, obviously."

"Mmm…" He grinned slyly and she crushed his hand.

"Ow, ow, ow, mercy." She relaxed her grip, smirking triumphantly.

"Stop picking on each other!" Charlie ordered cheekily, wagging his finger at them as though scolding misbehaving puppies. Leo and Louisa shared a glance and Charlie paled, lowering his hand and backing away. "Carry on." He murmured. He turned to escape, but his parents caught him and started tickling him relentlessly. "No!"

They were interrupted by one of the single dads swanning over. Charlie had seen this one going around, flirting with some of the women and thinking he was a gift from the gods.

Leo frowned as this man put his arm around Louisa. Aphrodite had done this for _years_- surely she would get bored?

"Get. Off." Louisa glowered up at him, but he only threw back his head and laughed. Leo pulled Charlie back, giving a half-hearted smile.

"Ah, you're sweet." The man chucked her under the chin. "How about you ditch that elf freak and be with a real man?"

"How about you _get off_?" He laughed again, tightening his arm about her shoulders.

"I would listen." Leo told him calmly. "She doesn't like you."

"Of course she does! How couldn't she?" Louisa fumed and somehow- Charlie missed it- she had flipped him over her shoulder, even though he was twice her size. He landed heavily on the floor, his previously perfect dark hair messed slightly. He looked dazed, but had enough sense to scramble to his feet before she booted him in the face. "Wh-?"

"She did tell you to get off." Leo reminded, still calm. "And I told you to listen." He folded his arms and smirked devilishly. "You might want to run." The man listened this time. "I feel sorry for whoever he's here for."

"I wouldn't." Charlie said. "He's here for no-one." Leo looked at him quizzically. "That kid bunks. Loads."

"Ah." Leo nodded in understanding and turned back to face his wife. "You OK?" She was still mad, curling her hands into fists. "Don't worry about slime-balls like that. You'd wipe the floor with them in your sleep."

"Still!" She raged. "Stupid morons with their fatheaded fatheadedness!" Charlie blinked and looked at his father. Leo motioned for him to stay quiet, looking amused. "So full of themselves, they need a proper slap!"

"You don't slap though. You _stab_." Leo pointed out. She gave a sweet smile, her eyes glinting coldly. Charlie was glad she didn't have her knife right that second. "But seriously, one more and I'll burn them."

"All of them?"

"Yeah, why not?" She beamed at him and Charlie felt safer. At least she wasn't going to go on a rampage right this second.

"Charlie!" He turned, seeing Sasha and some of their classmates running over. "Your mom is so cool, she just _flipped_ that guy and he's gone!" She pointed. The doors leaving the main hall were swinging to a standstill.

"You're not like that, are you?" Tim asked curiously.

"No, he's more like his dad." Dave replied. He ruffled Charlie's hair, as everyone often did. "Look at them!" He gestured at Leo, who was trying to placate his wife again. "Your mom's violent."

"I know. But that wasn't even that bad." Their smiles faltered in disbelief. Charlie smiled and bounced back to his parents, enforcing a group hug.

Leo was suddenly a 'very brave man' and Louisa was given very cautious, wary glances and wide berths. Neither of them seemed to mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**To Guest- You're welcome! I use fantabulous too, it's a great word :D Thank you! **

**To everyone- Guest above asked to have a chapter where it's Crystal at school with Nico and Joy tagging along. I'm going to write it in this one, but I've no ideas for it so it's mostly all drabble. Apologies in advance if it's a bit poo, but I'm trying! :P **

**Also, sorry for not updating the past few days. I tried to write something on the first day and only managed half a chapter, last night I was at my friend's and my laptop won't connect to his wifi. On a brighter note, I've seen **_**The Maze Runner**_** movie and it's so cool! (Mind, I read the books first, REALLY recommend them if you haven't read them already :D )**

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><p>"I don't like this."<p>

"Oh, what a surprise."

"Shut up, Crystal."

"Make me."

"Children!" Joy cut in. "Honestly, I don't see the problem. Free food!" Nico and Crystal shared a look and Joy made a face at the pair of them. "More for me then." And she bounced off, leaving father and daughter behind to struggle with the overwhelming crowds of students and parents.

"Why did you drag me into this?" Nico grumbled, massaging his forehead irritably. "I hate people."

"Me too, but it was Mom's idea to bring you along." Crystal smirked. "Apparently, you need _people skills_." Nico muttered a curse in Ancient Greek and started wading through people. Crystal hurried after him, noticing that people moved away from him. Was he expelling a son-of-Hades-aura? Why couldn't she have that? It was almost as good as idiot repellent!

"Nico!" Percy called, laughing at his cousin's misfortune. Nico sighed, probably reciting more curses, but still went over to Percy, albeit reluctantly. Crystal caught his eye- _people skills? __**REALLY?**_

"Alvie!" Her boyfriend started, looking up from his book curiously. "Hello." Crystal smiled sweetly.

"Hi."

"Having fun?" Percy asked Nico, smirking.

"Oh, of _course_!" Nico replied, the sarcasm so heavy it was amazing Percy hadn't collapsed beneath it. "Wouldn't _dream_ of doing anything else!"

"That's the spirit." Percy praised, messing up Nico's hair as though he were still a child.

"Technically," Nico said under his breath, "I'm older than you, so you've got to respect me."

"_When_ have I ever respected my elders?"

"Your mom. Chiron. Poseidon."

"Three people." Percy clarified, unimpressed. "But we're not technical." He continued. "We're biological. So, biologically, I'm older than you."

"Biologically." Nico repeated. Percy nodded once, seemingly pleased with himself. "I didn't know a Seaweed Brain could know such a big word."

"I'll tell Joy you're bullying me."

"Now who's the child?"

"I'm always the child, shush." Percy turned to Crystal and smiled. "Hello."

"Hi."

"Give him hell for me." He nodded at Nico. Crystal grinned.

"Of course."

"Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth pushed her way through, scowling. Percy held his hands up instantly, looking innocent. Annabeth smacked him in the shoulder anyway. "You said you'd stay with me."

"I was. But then I saw Nico and thought I'd be annoying." Annabeth threw her gaze to the heavens and then pulled Alvie from his book to see what lesson he had first.

"Math."

"What have you got?" Nico asked warily, casting his daughter a suspicious glance.

"Math." Crystal answered calmly, smiling at Percy's laughter.

"You're with us!" He caught Nico under one arm and Annabeth with the other and marched off. Alvie watched them retreat for a moment and then looked at Crystal.

"Run away?"

"You coward."

"Dad _really_ annoys Nico."

"I know, right?" Crystal beamed. "I don't want to miss it, so let's find Mom, like, _now_ and go and get it on camera." She grabbed him by the arm and hauled him away. "Stop whining, Alvie, you can read later."

* * *

><p>"Do you <em>really<em> need to know this?" Nico hissed.

"No." Crystal replied quietly.

"What the hell do we pay them for, this is ridiculous!" _Why_ the class had to learn this Pytho-something theorem escaped Nico- unless they were going to be a Math teacher, they didn't need to know this! It was just a waste of time.

"Stop complaining." Joy murmured, slapping Nico's arm warningly. "We talked about this, remember?" Nico complained and put his head on the desk. "Nico!" She pinched his arm and he retaliated by pinching her leg under the table. They started play-fighting, disrupting the lesson.

"Um…" The teacher started, looking at Crystal in bewilderment. Crystal just shrugged, getting up and moving next to Alvie for her own safety. He was reading under the table and didn't notice her arrival until she tugged playfully on his grey streak.

"Hello." He said quietly.

"Nico, I'm going to kill you!" His grey eyes slid past her and narrowed at the fighting couple in amusement, a small smile playing across his lips. Percy and Annabeth bravely rose and went over, pulling them apart. Annabeth dug her fingers into the joint between Nico's neck and shoulder, a pressure point, and directed him away to her vacant seat. Percy stayed with Joy until his wife returned and sat in Nico's seat.

"Oh no…" Nico groaned in defeat as his cousin made his way over. "Why do you do this to me?"

"_You _started fighting." Annabeth told him pointedly. "You deserve it."

"I hate all of you."

"Love you too, cuz." Percy grinned.

"Are they always like that?" The teacher asked Annabeth- the saner option.

"Mostly. But you should be fine if we're around." Percy turned in his seat to ask her something. "Well, if _I'm _around."

"Now that makes much more sense. I'm not very responsible." Alvie frowned at his father, confused. 'Responsible' covered saving the world twice, right?

"Anyway-" And the teacher continued with the lesson, casting wary glances at the two cousins quietly bickering in the front row and the two women giggling at the back. Thankfully, they didn't start fighting, play or no.

* * *

><p>"This is food?"<p>

"Apparently." Nico didn't even try to hide his disgust at the over-cooked school dinner, leaving it before the cooks and taking some of the fresher fruits on offer. He nabbed a couple of the puddings as well- Joy wouldn't eat food that looked like it had roasted in the sun for a month.

The school cooks glowered after Nico and he proceeded to talk loudly about how the food should come with vicious health and safety warnings and he would need a cement mixer to grind it down into edible portions.

"You're in a bad mood, aren't you?" Joy sighed as Nico dropped into the seat next to her.

"What made you think that?" He got a very pointed look for that. "I'm hungry, OK? And they're trying to poison me."

"You're _so_ over-dramatic."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Children!" Annabeth scolded from the neighbouring table. Nico lobbed an orange segment her way and she made to get up to throttle him when Percy grabbed her by the arm. "Percy…" She warned.

"You can kill them later. Too many witnesses at the moment."

"So?"

"Ugh, daughter of wisdom…" She punched him for that, but remained seated. He rested his head on her shoulder and probably told a few stupid jokes as she smiled a minute later, shaking her head and calling him a 'Seaweed Brain' again.

Alvie waved at Crystal from where he was sat with his parents, his book propped up against one of the water jugs. He had only started that this morning and was nearly finished! Such a bookworm.

"I forgot Lou was here too." Nico announced randomly, leaning to the left to see his cousin arguing rather violently with the head cook. He even caught snatches of the argument.

"This ain't food, this is poison!"_ His thoughts exactly_.

"I don't just feed _you_, you know!" The cook shot back.

"All these people ya poisonin', some would've thought ya'd have come up with somethin' else! Somethin' _edible_." The cook smacked her ladle against her palm, looking mighty ready to clobber Louisa with it.

Thankfully, Leo arrived and ushered his wife away, apologising to the cook and explaining his wife was in an irritated mood- he didn't mention _as always_, but it seemed to hang in the air. Louisa ranted to him and Leo nodded and agreed calmly to everything she said until she seemed in a better mood. They sat with the Jacksons, Elsie and Alokia joining them minutes later.

"Where's Charlie?" Leo asked, frowning slightly.

"He's sitting under the table." Percy replied for his nieces. He shifted over and pointed.

"Hi Daddy!" Charlie beamed, chocolate cake smeared across his face and, oddly, a bit in his hair. "I make mess!" He continued proudly, holding up his small hands to indicate all that _very sugary_ chocolate cake he had eaten. _Someone_ was going to be hyper later.

"Who gave him that?" Louisa sighed. Percy suddenly seemed really interested in his food, which gained a whack from his lovely baby sister. "Idiot."

"Thank you."

"Having trouble with the cook too?" Nico called, smirking.

"Ugh, the _cow_. I can't even call that _food_." Louisa accepted a couple of tofu burgers from Leo, who had cooked them under the table, while Nico snickered at her misfortune and annoyance.


End file.
